These things will change, can you feel it now?

It's funny how change always comes up at just the time where I think I might be able to handle it well, and then it really hits me, and I almost start to feel out of control. But I guess feeling out of control is okay.. Because God has this.

It always starts with the hair. Blame it on the hair. Last time I changed my hair, I changed jobs, quit teaching Sunday School, moved churches and made a new set of friends.

This time around.. I'm moving out(God Willing)camp is around the corner, and we all know that is going to change our lives, one of the most influential families in my Christian walk is moving to Spain, and we're getting a new college pastor.

Woah wait back up. That is a lot of change to process right now, and it always just seems to blindside me. God doesn't like it when we are comfortable, and I was starting to develop a comfort zone with the last set of changes, and then he goes and pulls out the rug from under my feet. I don't have to worry though, because I know He is going to catch me.

I'm going to try and write out my feelings on each individual bit of change that is happening in my life right now. I just honestly need to process a lot of things, and this lovely blog has been through a LOT of processing.

The family moving to Spain. I am not kidding when I say they are one of the most influential families in my walk with Christ. The husband taught the lesson that led to my salvation. The wife mentored me through many mental break downs, and helped to make sure I didn't fall too far off the track my first year of college. She challenged me, and was brutally honest when she knew I wasn't doing something right. Their children. I've had the pleasure to teach the three oldest in one form or another, and I think I've been blessed to have been taught by each of the children as well. I witnessed the pregnancy to the two youngest, and have watched them grow, as my faith grows. I had to say goodbye to this family earlier in the week. And I hadn't seen them in a while, so it was good to catch up, but as I walked away I just had this sense of peace. God leads everyone into each others lives for a reason.. And this family definitely had a reason to be in my life, but it's time for them to take on new adventures. Exotic adventures. And as much as I want to sit here and cry because I am going to miss them so very much, I still feel that peace. Because God is working wonders. Amazing, beautiful, marvelous wonders each and every day. And this may be good bye for now, but it won't be goodbye for forever.

I joined a gym. I know that pretty much everyone knows about my mom getting her OBand surgery. And with that, the whole house has made a turn for the healthy ways. It's amazing to see us all shrinking, and working at our own pace. I knew that I needed to kick in some activity with my new eating habits, because changing my diet just wasn't going to be enough. I've got A LOT to lose, and it's going to take a lot of hard work, but that switch finally flipped where I realized that it was time to make that change. I think that for the longest time I was just trying to get comfortable in my own skin, and most of the time I was, but now I need to realize that I just need to get healthy. And I'm making positive movements in this direction. This also brings me peace, because like my note card said on Sunday. I may doubt that I can do this whole diet thing.. But God says, I've got this. Lean on Me.

Moving out. I just. I don't even know what to think about this right now. I don't feel like its real, but I'm pretty sure it's real. I just.. I need to fix my car before I believe this is happening. But oh my goodness, I've been praying about this for a long time, and these women of God would be WONDERFUL people to surround myself with. God willing, this is going to be an amazing time in my life, one that is going to shape me and mold me, and I am just so excited for it.

D. I'm not going to lie, I cried tonight. And I tried SO hard to hide it, but he knew. It hasn't even been a year but this man has taught me so many lessons that I am going to hold near and dear to my heart for the rest of my life. Finding the Shadow Hills College group has been such a TREMENDOUS blessing in my life. There are so many people to look up to, and so many people willing to be there for accountability, and even more who are just willing to pray. So many times I think about the day I got pulled over, and how it seemed like everything was collapsing around me, but I shared my pain, and the group prayed, and that peace that only God can give filled me. Or the MANY times I've just been slapped in the face with an answer to a question that had been burdening my heart. So many times it felt like the lessons were tailored just for EXACTLY what I was going through. And I'm sad, but I know God has this under control. He has placed a new pastor for us, who I am very sure is going to rock our socks. D told us tonight that in order to grow, we need change. And D has brought so much change to all of us, and now its time for him to spread his amazingness to the others. And it's also time for someone new to step in and change us. And time for us to step up and change our new pastor. I'm so excited for the growth we can do together as a group. And I am so happy that he is joining us for camp. There's no better way to get acquainted with someone new, other then a mountain top experience.

I'm just so overwhelmed with everything right now, but in the best of ways. I was talking with a friend on my way to dinner about our emotions. And how we weren't crying tears of sorrow, it was just so much emotion built up, and we felt so filled with the Holy Spirit, that we couldn't help but cry. It just spilt over in the most amazing of ways. I know this road of dealing with the changes is going to be bumpy. And I know that it isn't going to be easy, but I am just so at peace right now. Sitting here, holding onto the promise that God gives me, when He says He will never leave me. I'm traveling on a road of change, but I've got Jesus holding my hand the whole way down.