Fun Fact #3

I have anywhere but here syndrome (and that anywhere is california)

The day after I leave California is always the hardest. And, it just keeps getting harder. I just sometimes feel like I have nothing to look forward to when I come back to Vegas. Yes, I have my family and a few friends, but I mean.. The majority of the people I actually enjoy talking to are online, and I can take my computer with me wherever I go, so it isn't like I am going to miss them. They come with me :]

And my parents and my sister, I would miss them a whole bunch, and church, I would miss that too, but I feel like Vegas is just this groove in the middle of the table, and I am the marble that keeps rolling back towards the groove and getting stuck. There is no where to go here. There is nothing I want to do. I have no motivation to be a better person here. There is nothing inspiring. It is just blah. I haven't been as happy as I was just sitting on the beach then I have been in a VERY long time.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to be all emo and be like, WAHH my life sucks, because it doesn't. My life is actually pretty amazing, but it isn't changing. It isn't evolving, it isn't getting better. It is kind of on pause right now.

Isn't college supposed to be the best part of your life? You are supposed to grow so much from it? Then why do I feel like I'm on hold right now?

I just don't want to be here anymore, and I kill myself every time I have to come back. If I could, I would spend all summer sleeping on an inflatable mattress selling homemade bracelets on Venice Beach.

Even though I would prefer being cramped in a studio apartment, working as a club promoter, but heyy, it is what it is :]

Basically, I just want to finish college and get out of here, and drive to California, and never have to leavee :D